dnevnik srpskog samoubice

05 Jul, 2017

Eutanazija

— Autor srpskisamoubica @ 13:50

 

-Majko, majko, rešio sam! Hoću da idem na eutanaziju!
Majka ga gleda zabezeknuto.
-Da, da, razmišljao sam i shvatio da bih time rešio sve, ali baš sve probleme, a ima ih dosta, Bog mi je svedok. Već sam postao mator da se bakćem sa svim tim... budimo realni, nikad neću naći dobar posao, neću se ni oženiti, neće nikad biti bolje u Srbiji, i ovim potezom ću ubiti dve muve, što bi se reklo. Ma ne dve, nego sve! Eto, čak se i rimuje! Eh, slatka mala eutazijica kad zaplovi mojim venema! Ima ona pesma "...neka ovaj ludi ritam krene tvojim venama", hehe, mojim će eutanazija da krene!
-Dokle ćeš da lupaš svašta?
-'Ajde šta si se smračila, moći ćeš da izdaš moju sobu i uzmeš koju kintu, pa mislim tvoj sin i na tebe. Pazi, to ti je siguran mesečni prihod.
-Molim ti da se ne šališ sa takvim stvarima!
-Ma kakva šala, Vučić je davno odneo šalu! Ne stvarno, čak mi se i kompjuter pokvario a ne mogu da ga popravim, pa šta da radim po ceo dan? Da čitam knjige? Pa nismo u 16.-tom veku! Pa je l' se zato borio Tesla?!? Da čitam knjige? Ne, hteo je da mi šaljemo one blesave emotikonse po ceo dan svojim prijateljima preko vajbera, to je bila njegova vizija. Uostalom, šta nam i vredi da popravljam kompjuter kad će struju da nam isključe, evo već 2 meseca ne plaćamo. Bar da živim sa devojkom, pa kad nam isključe da bude mrak, romantika, sveće... Ovako... neću, bre, sa tobom da se vatam, od svih tih kompleksa bar me je gospodin Edip zaobišao... Mada, tebe će teško čika Alchajmer da zaobiđe obzirom da po ceo dan gledaš serije i rijalitije na TV-u.
-Prestani, molim te.
-Prestaću uskoro stvarno. Prestaću da postojim, hehe, kontaš... Pisaću ti sigurno sa onog sveta, mada znajući kakva je pošta u Srbiji, ne bi me čudilo da ne stigne.
Eh, moja radosti, uvek si mi govorila da uradim nešto sa svojim životom, evo sada ću konačno da ti osvetlim obraz pred svetom!
Kad ti pitaju ljudi:
A gde vam je sin?
Moj vam je sin sada na jednom boljem mestu!
Šta, otišao u inostranstvo?
Ne-ne, nego u večna lovišta!
Hoho, sad oni možda nisu čitali stripove pa ne znaju gde su to večna lovišta, ali ti samo složi facu pa će da shvate da nisam otišao na piknik.
-Dokle misliš da me daviš sa tvojim nebulozama?
-O tome se i radi, neću još dugo, hoho, još malo pa ćeš pričati sa mojom slikom na zidu. A znaš kakve su slike, nisu baš elokventne, moći ćeš ti da držiš slovo stalno. Eh, radosti! Znaš kako kaže ona pesma "Rado ide Srbin u eutanaziju"!
-...ide u vojnike. Pesma kaže „ rado ide u vojnike“
-Ma u vojsci sam ja već bio rado, sad ću malo i da se ubijem! Ovog puta te neću izneveriti majko! Nova vremena su sada, možda ovaj moj čin pokrene čitav novi talas mode. Možda eutanazija postane popularna kao putovanja u Španiju. A još plus, plaćaš kartu u samo jednom pravcu, sad već govorimo o uštedi, kontaš?
-Zašto govoriš sve te gluposti, sine?
-A šta da radim sa sobom, šta?


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